


Seven Things Minho Can't Outrun

by wckdrachel (remuses)



Category: The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Unrequited Love, newt's suicide attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-21 16:57:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18144923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remuses/pseuds/wckdrachel
Summary: Minho finds himself falling for Alby, but can't bring himself to do anything about it. He agonizingly pines for him in the midst of things he can't handle - the maze, the responsibility, and the knowledge that he had to watch Alby and Newt fall in love with each other.Set from Pre-Thomas to the end of the first book.





	Seven Things Minho Can't Outrun

1\. Duty

It took a while to get Minho and the other future Runners through the preparations. They spent a couple months gathering supplies and gear, training everyone, and readying any maps that need to be drawn out. But the day of the first run was nearing, and Minho couldn’t shake the feeling of dread.

He wasn’t exactly friendly with anyone but the second in command – Alby. Alby was his only friend, which is probably why the older boy was the only one who noticed Minho’s unease.

During the bonfire, Minho sat apart from everyone, but of course, Alby sat next to him, offering him a drink.

Minho pushed it away. “No thanks.”

Alby shifted closer to him, until they were hip to hip, shoulder to shoulder.

“Hey, man, if you don’t want to go through with this tomorrow…” he trailed off, looking concerned.

Minho forced out a laugh. “Don’t be a baby, Alby. I’m sticking to my word.”

“You’re trembling,” Alby mumbled softly, putting his hand on Minho’s.

Opening his mouth, Minho found he could barely get any words out. He wanted to know if it was because he’d be out in the maze soon or because a simple touch from Alby felt so intimate. It wasn’t a thought he dared to venture.

“Don’t be an idiot, I’m fine. I’m not scared; it’s just a bunch of walls. I don’t think that’s enough to scare me off, or any of the other guys for that matter. It’s all good. It’s good. It’s great, actually. I mean -”

Alby enclosed his hand around Minho’s, cutting off Minho’s babbling.

“I know you, Minho,” Alby said, tightening his grip to help lessen Minho’s fidgeting. “You don’t have to pretend like you aren’t scared. We all are. I know you’re going through with this, but save the brave face for tomorrow when you’re leading the others. Right now, lying to yourself won’t help.”

Minho just stared forward, letting Alby’s words sink in. “I…I just…”

“Just breathe,” Alby murmured, rubbing his thumb across Minho’s knuckles.

Minho’s breath hitched at the way Alby was touching him, but he couldn’t help but notice the calm in his nerves and his relaxed fingers.

He finally faced Alby. “I’ll be okay.”

Alby nodded. “I know you will. Besides, you’ll be running with Newt. You’ll both be in safe hands.”

Minho snorted. “Nick and the others don’t seem to care if I’m safe or not. They just want me to come back with clues and good news.”

Alby looked in Minho’s eyes and smiled sadly. “Come back with something or not. As long as you come back, I’m all good.”

He let go of Minho’s hand, and patted his thigh, before standing up, walking back to the others.

Minho’s gaze followed Alby, and he couldn’t get a grip on himself anymore. All he could feel was his heart beating faster and cheeks all uncharacteristically flushed.

He hasn’t even stepped into the maze yet, and he’s already screwed.

2\. Emotions

The first run was exhausting and practically killed him, but within a few months, he got hang of it. He even recorded a handful of patterns already with his team. However, although he now had a bunch of other guys to hang out with – he had grown fond of Newt, especially – becoming a runner amplified his loneliness.

He gained respect and new friends, but it didn’t feel like it. All he could see at the end of the day after all, was the map room. His entire existence was now all about patterns, both the maze’s and the clockwork routine he had put himself through the pass few months.

Wake up. Assign section assignments. Warm up. Run. Come back. Map out. Plan out section assignments for the next day. Sleep.

It didn’t give him enough time to talk to anyone else. Of course, there was one person who wouldn’t just let that go.

Minho was tracing the lines on the map to highlight the similar patterns from a week ago, when he heard someone say, “You look like crap.”

Dropping the pencil and jumping away from the table, he spilled the cup of water he had on the table all of over himself. He turned to his right, glaring at Alby. “You’re lucky none of that got on the maps or I’d have killed you by now. Don’t sneak up on me when I’m working.”

“You’re always working,” Alby remarked. “Look, I just wanted to bring you something to eat. Newt mentioned you didn’t have anything the whole day out there.”

Minho saw the plate of food in and bottle of water in Alby’s hands. “Oh…thanks.”

Alby nodded before walking over to place the food on the table in front of Minho. “Don’t worry about it,” he assured, before pulling a chair to the table for Minho. Minho sat down, trying not to smile from the gesture.

Grabbing the bottled water, he looked up to Alby. “You didn’t have to. I could’ve just gone to Frypan for food, he’d still be awake.”

Chuckling, Alby shook his head and put a hand on Minho’s shoulder. “When will you get it through to your head that I actually like being around you, even if all I get from you is a few minutes. If I didn’t give a damn about seeing ‘ya, I would’ve gotten Gally to play waiter whenever you miss dinner.”

Minho felt his face flush and just looks down at his plate to hide it. “Sorry, there’s just a lot to do. Everyone’s counting on me.”

“I get it, man,” Alby said. “And they’re right to.”

Minho raised his eyebrows at him, and Alby just shrugged. “What can I say? You’re our best hope.”

Minho smiled. “Well, thanks…Now, if you can excuse me, I have to eat so your best hope can get back to work.”

Alby smirked and punched him lightly. “Whatever, see you tomorrow, shank.”

Minho smiled and gave Alby a mock salute, before watching him walk away. However, just as Alby was about to leave, he turned around and said, “By the way, I added a couple blankets and a pillow in the leftmost cupboard. Just in case. You keep falling asleep here and I always find you shivering in the morning.”

Speechless, Minho just stared at him. Before he could manage to form any words with his mouth, Alby had continued walking, and was gone soon after.

If he wasn’t in love with Alby already, he certainly was now.

3\. Failure

During the lunch break, before he let the other all the Runners spread out into different paths, Minho had told everyone to come back two hours earlier than usual to call it a day – having already discovered a few new portions of the maze. When he arrived back with his partner, a newbie called Justin, Alby walked up to him. His eyes looked so frenzied that Justin wandered away as soon as they reached the grass.

“Where’s Newt?”

Minho frowned, Alby was usually always glad to see him arrive in one piece. “I didn’t run with him today, trained the new kid, remember? I told them to come back earlier. I just got held back a little because of Justin. Newt should be back by now.”

“I know, Minho,” said through gritted teeth, obviously trying to stay calm.

Minho was taken aback at Alby’s tone, his eyebrows creased in confusion.

“I know,” Alby continued, “because the others told me that. They told me everyone had arrived except for you, Justin, and Newt.”

Minho suddenly felt his face drained of all blood and his throat went dry. “H-he’s not here, yet?”

“No,” Alby snapped, his hands forming into fists. “You…you sent him out there without a partner?”

“Yeah…” Minho uttered helplessly. “I…I had to keep an eye on the Greenie and…and Newt’s the best there is so I thought -”

Alby laughed bitterly, cutting him off. “Great. Just great,” he mumbled angrily before turning and storming off.

Minho felt his heart sink, suddenly being overcome with the urge to beat himself up. “Where are you going?!”

“I’m gonna go find him,” Alby called over his shoulder, jogging to one of the doors.

“I’ll take the North Doors!” Minho yelled after him, before turning around and starting to run again.

*

When he found his way back again, Minho was filled to the brim with dread. He was red with exhaustion and he was practically crawling when he barely made it through the doors. His heart rapped dangerously fast and loud against his ribs.

Upon spotting him, Winston and Clint ran over to Minho immediately, kneeling next to him and patching up his cuts.

It was only when he saw the look on their faces that Minho realizes his eyes were glassy with tears. “I…couldn’t. I couldn’t find him. I tried - ”

“Minho,” Winston cut in as Clint kept quiet and continued to wrap a bandage around a bleeding wound, “Alby’s got him. Newt’s here.”

Stunned to silence in relief, Minho coughs, letting the fatigue crash over him. “Oh…Oh, shuck. Is he okay?”

The way Winston and Jeff looked at each other didn’t reassure Minho at all. Before he could ask, he looked over their shoulder and caught Alby’s eye in the distance. He could see that Alby was relieved to see that Minho had made it, and for a few seconds, he allowed himself that tiny sliver of comfort. But then, Alby’s expression hardened, and he turned around. Minho suddenly noticed the blood on Alby’s hands and knew it was Newt’s.

Minho gasped for air, hyperventilating and feeling nauseous, scrambling for support. Jeff and Clint helped him up, trying to soothe him, but all he can see is Newt’s blood on Alby’s hands.

At that moment, Minho felt how much of a mistake it was that he was entrusted with all their lives.

4\. Rejection

Minho was sitting on the bed next to Newt’s, eyeing the unconscious boy warily. It’s been a week since the incident, but the fall was horrible. Newt had hit his head pretty bad and the amount of medicine being injected into his system is a little bit more than the boy could handle, so has only been awake for a couple hours at a time, and usually, only Alby was there for it. Minho didn’t have the chance to talk to him yet.

He knew it wasn’t his fault that his friend jumped. He knew that wasn’t within his control. It’s been a few days since Alby apologized for icing him out, and then proceeding to convince Minho it wasn’t his fault. Minho believed him, but Minho also knew that that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be the looking after Newt. He’s his running partner after all. Was his running partner, he corrected himself, looking at Newt’s bandaged leg.

Hearing the door creak, he turned around in his chair.

“Newt, you awake? I thought maybe we could-” Alby stopped, seeing it was Minho. “Oh, hey man. Has he been awake today?”

Minho shook his head.

“Oh,” Alby murmured, walking over to sit next to Minho.

Absentmindedly, Minho rested his hand on Alby’s knee. “He’ll get better.”

“What if…What if he doesn’t?” Alby stuttered, a crack detectable in his usually steady voice. “I mean, I know Jeff and Clint did a great job tending to him, even if he can’t run anymore, but what if he tries it again? I…I don’t think I can…”

Minho looked at Alby, and was startled to find that there were tears forming in his eyes.

He didn’t think he ever saw Alby cry before. It made his chest hurt.

Minho put an arm around him and let Alby rest on his shoulder. “He’s tough, Alby. He’ll make it.”

“I hope so…” Alby murmured.

They sat like that for a while, close and comforting. Minho was too aware of Alby’s hand on his thigh and the way he could feel Alby’s warm breath on his skin.

Suddenly, Alby said something almost inaudible – in fact, if Minho wasn’t as attentive as he always was to everything from Alby’s mouth, he would have had missed it.

“I love him.”

Minho suddenly felt cold and like he was going to double-over from how heavy his chest had gotten.

Just like that, it was Minho’s first day in the maze again. Just like that, a burning anguish in the pit of his stomach bubbled up and a feeling of nausea and the urge to collapsed prickled everywhere in his body.

“…Oh,” was all Minho could manage. Any more would make him choke on his words.

Minho didn’t even pause and entertain the idea that Alby could have meant a platonic kind of love – the same love Minho also had for Newt – because he knew too well it was no use. The way Alby said I love him was too familiar.It sounded way too much like the voice in his own head every time he saw Alby smile.

5\. Adjustment

Whenever Minho saw them kiss, he looked the other way.

While it had taken long after the incident for Newt to realize – or at least, admit – that he wanted Alby back, when they did get together, it wasn’t an easy thing to ignore. But Minho learned how to. He had to. Of course, they didn’t declare anything. They didn’t have to. Everyone knew.

Newt was still tired and still had moments where he would isolate himself. However, Alby was always quick to follow. Alby still carried the expression of a boy who feels like the limp in Newt’s stride is his fault, but Newt was always there to kiss that look off his face.

Their hands interlocked like the spaces between their fingers were crafted for each other and the way their eyes sparkled could make feel anyone remotely near them like they were interrupting something too beautiful to touch.

It was horrible, the feeling in Minho’s gut. The burning jealousy he couldn’t shake and the ache in his heart couldn’t be peeled away by even the most draining runs. He had thought once that seeing Newt get better and seeing Alby happy would be the only thing he needed while he was in this place – but the cutting pain in his chest every time Alby would kiss Newt’s forehead was something he could not dismiss.

Everything made him all the more aware of the guilt burrowing deep into his chest. His best friends were happy. He should be happy. The only thing standing in his way towards that was the tiny glimmer of daydreams that have already embedded themselves into his sleep permanently.

But he hid it.

He hid it well enough that the person who knew him the most returned all of Minho’s fake smiles with genuine ones. He hid it well enough to not flinch when Alby touched him. He hid it well enough for his best friend to believe that Minho was truly okay.

He hid it well enough to learn this: whenever Alby and Newt kissed, he should look the other way.

That bit wasn’t so hard, though. That’s what he always did in the maze after all.

You see a dead end? You look the other way.

 

6\. Change

The night after the Gathering, after the Greenie, Thomas, was appointed as a Runner, Minho felt drained of everything. He still felt jittery, trying to make sense of what had happened. He couldn’t for the life of him figure out why he almost left Alby there for dead.

The sounds of the creatures still whizzed threateningly in his head, and he flinched, feeling hot shame in his face. How could he have done that?

He remembered that Alby told him to save himself. That he’d never forgive Minho if he died saving Alby that night.

Minho can’t believe he let something like stop him from staying with Alby. Maybe that’s why he liked Thomas so much. He didn’t care that the newbie saved him. Minho cared that the newbie saved Alby when he himself couldn’t.

He couldn’t save Alby.

Taking a deep breath, he tried to shake off all thoughts, and continued up the spiraling staircase. Once he got to the hallway and walked up to Alby’s door, he felt his fingers starting to tremble again. It’s been a while since Alby stilled them with his gentle hands.

“Shuck,” Minho muttered to himself as he started knocking. “You can’t think like that anymore, Minho. You can’t.”

He knocked again. And again.

Deciding Alby must be alone, Minho pushed the door open.

On the bed, like he thought, was Alby, alone. His veins were showing through his dark skin and he kept tossing and turning. He was covered in cold sweat as he kicked at his blankets in his sleep.

Minho rushed over to sit by his bed and hold his hand, although he hardly believed it would help at all. “Hey. Calm down, Alby. It’s gonna be okay.”

Surprisingly, Alby does stop thrashing around. He was still tense, his fingers still kept on twitching, and a frown looked imprinted on his face, but at least he looks calmer.

Minho realized a few moments after that he was tracing Alby’s knuckles with his thumb the way Alby used to do to him to calm him down. Thinking that it must be helping, he didn’t stop.

A few minutes later, he heard the door creak and dropped Alby’s hand to hang in an instant. Which was good, because it was Newt in the doorway.

“Oh..hey, Minho. What are you doing here?”

“Checking up on him…See how he’s doing,” Minho replied, looking worryingly at Alby.

Newt patted Minho’s back and smiled sadly. “I’d like to think he’s doing better but… I don’t know.”

Minho nodded his head solemnly. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess.”

“It’s getting late, Minho. You should get some sleep.”

Shaking his head, he looked at Alby’s restless form, beginning to fidget in his sleep again.

“I’ll take care of it,” Newt added.

“I heard he went mad when you and Thomas went to see him right after the Gathering.”

“He came to his senses. He’ll be up and about soon, don’t worry.”

“Really, it’s okay, I don’t need that much rest-”

“Minho,” Newt said more firmly, sitting at the edge of Alby’s bed. “It’s fine. You don’t have to. I got this.”

Minho wanted to retort, but he caught the small movement of Newt wrapping his hand around Alby’s. Alby doesn’t just calm down, he relaxed, looking more limp and comfortable with the new touch. Alby’s hand even squeezes back.

Minho knew he was way out of his depth.

He nodded and sighed. “Y-yeah. I guess you got this.”

7\. Loss

Alby was gone way too fast.

Minho’s senses shut down. He stumbled in his place, feeling the gravity amplify directly below his chest. Breathing hard, he felt like he was drowning in a blur of Newt’s screams in the background and the darkness that was intensifying around him. In the haze, he saw a smear of blood and felt his stomach turn.

Alby was gone way too fast.

And for what?

For us, Minho decided, letting the anger take over him. There was a ball of fury breeding in his chest, scorching him from the insides. Heat rose up to his face, and he forced himself to straighten, block out all emotion, and speak – even though every word felt like he was swallowing needles.

Putting a hand on Newt’s shoulder, he forced the words one at a time. “We…We can’t waste what he did.”

He launched off to assigning tasks to people, as if half of his heart was still in the plan instead of left in the dirt, rotting and taken apart like Alby.

After Thomas weighed in his thoughts and talked about the code, Newt murmured something out of nowhere, in a distant, disgusted tone.

“How can you guys be so heartless?”

Minho didn’t know how much a slap to the face could hurt even after your heart has been shattered into jagged pieces. He didn’t know what it was, but it sparked in his chest, a kind of rage and hurt that was on the precipice of exploding, bursting through what now seemed like just a fragile shell of body.

“What do you want, Newt?” he snapped, his anger magnifying and his fists shaking. “Should we all dress up and have a funeral?”

Newt didn’t respond.

It was only Thomas’ urgency and the whirring sounds of the Grievers that, thankfully, he didn’t blurt out the bitter though forming in his mind.

You – out of all people – can’t waste his sacrifice. He didn’t do this for me – for us. He did it for you. It was always for you.

*

Thomas and Minho’s bunk was right next to Frypan and Newt’s. Newt chose the top bunk, and so did Minho.

Long after Thomas had gone asleep, Minho still laid awake, eyes stinging, chest hurting, and breath clogged into his throat.

He could tell it was only a few dozen minutes before sunrise, but finally he was purged of all tears. Apparently, though, the ache couldn’t be forced out.

“Minho.”

Startled, Minho turned around to face Newt, lying only a couple feet away from him.

“Yeah?”

“I’m…I’m sorry for calling you heartless when he…” Newt trailed off, his voice cracking a little. He also sounded like his throat has been calloused by a good cry.

“It’s nothing,” Minho murmured. “I don’t get how we still had the energy to fight after he…Yeah...”

“I know,” Newt replied softly, the guilt still sounding heavy in his throat. “But I think I get it…We just see him differently.”

Minho frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I keep acting like a bloody idiot because I’ve always gotten lost in him, that I forgot what it’s like to be just his best friend,” Newt explained, his voice still dry and wheezy. “You’re his best friend, nothing else, and I don’t understand that. I guess, in the same way, it’s how you don’t understand what it’s like…to be in love with him. I mean, I know we love him equally, but how we love him? It’s different, I guess…Which is good. You knew how to be smart about it when when he... When we needed you to be. I just froze... Like an idiot.”

Minho held back the tears – of anger or longing, he didn’t know anymore – until he could turn to face the other side, curling up, contracting, and trying to keep it all in. He felt like his throat was stuffed with dry cotton and his stomach was empty. He felt his heart grow even heavier. He breathed in and out, trying not to hyperventilate, but he was getting there.

Eventually he managed to nod, even if he was already facing the other way. “You’re right…” he lied. He wanted to believe it. “It’s…It’s different.”


End file.
